Filed under: Uncategorized
“You’ll never know anything about where you’re going or who you are.”
- David Deida
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: David Deida, intimacy, mission, Purpose
“For the masculine, your sense of purpose of mission, of knowing where you’re going in life, always takes presedence over women.
“You must know why your alive and where you’re going before you can give presence in intimacy.”
- David Deida
I feel a little bit dorky coming back to this. About the masculine purpose in life. At the end of the day, no one will remember who the fuck I am a hundred years from now. No one will care about my achievements. I really don’t want to take life too seriously and certainly not be too inspired by one philosophy.
This kind of statement really resonates with me and sheds light on my current confusions. As a man who can smell my mission. As a man who feels that if I invest another year or two in myself, if I take some risks, if I dare to expose myself, then I have a chance to really live my mission. Little by little walk my talk. Give my gift. As this man, knowing where I come from and where I am now, feeling all the achievements my efforts have brought so far; knowing that I want to give back to the world with my lightness, clarity, love and directionality. As this man, this kind of quote gives me inspiration to trust my intuition and keep exploring my mission.
Mmm. I feel so fucking blessed for all the gifts in my life!
“The feeling of dissatisfaction is the feedback that your growing.”
“It’s a beautiful thing to become dissatisfied with your life because it means you’ve outgrown it.”
- David Deida
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: #emotion #sex #secret #creative #napoleon #hill
“The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability”
- Napoleon Hill
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: alex vartman, divine, ego, faith, feeling outwards, gratitude, guidance, spirit, surrender, the new tantra, thenewtantra, tnt
“Feeling outwards – placing your awareness outside your body, feeling what is happening around you, rather than inside your head – much cooler.”
“Many of us are very self-centered. Me me me, is the voice of the ego. How about getting other-centered for a while?”
“Faith without expectations is surrendering to divine guidance and trusting that spirit will take you where it wants to take you.”
- Alex Vartman
I am tremendously grateful that I met my spiritual teacher, Alex Vartman, two years ago. Upon my first encounter with him, his provokative and direct nature triggered me and I knew I wanted to hear him again. After my first week of training with him, I knew my life would never have been the same. It hasn’t been. Life is different now. I bow down to Alex for his courageous way of teaching and tireless service to mankind. It’s a painful path, the ego gets nothing but shit, but hence, spirit grows. Ever grateful.
How much energy do I spend trying to be better than others? For what? These words of wisdom… Brilliant.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: anxiety, confusion, hurt, practice, reconsideration
I live abroad for nearly two years, but going back to my homeland soon. With my return approaching, and the all the uncertainties of my next chapter of life, I started to feel very confused a couple of weeks ago. Confused and vulnerable. It struck me that a summer with the people I love is so much more important than squeezing the last bit out of this. I could have had that had I decided to move earlier. More so, it is dawning on me that I need support right now, need support to regain strength and clarity after a challenging period abroad. Regretting my decision to move back only after the summer, my anxiety stirred up. From feeling so stable and strong, to feeling so utterly confused and weak in no time. Fuck.
At last I found strength to meditate and in meditation I started to see some meaning to this intense challenge – to practice staying open also when it hurts. My ego keeps wanting to run away from the present moment, finding distractions of any kind. But no – stay in the now, feel it, stay open. Staying open in the midst of pain, that’s practice.
More insights dawned on me. It became clear that my decision was solely based on Me, My journey, encompassing the things I “need” to do here before I leave. How selfish! There are people around me whom I affect, I didn’t seriously consider their wishes. Also, I never consciously critically looked at my plan once I started to feel that it wasn’t optimal.
At last my love helped me see some of these things more clear yesterday. It hurt me deeply to see how much I hurt her by being apart, but it was also a relief to feel her vulnerable heart. With an intense feeling of aliveness in my system throughout the day, both worry, sadness and some kind of lightness, I decided to quit as soon as possible. For me, for her, for us. And to be able spend quality time with the rest of my family. Relief!
I hope I will learn from this experience when life challenges me in the future.